An Eventful Day

Sweet Becky,

I suppose that a good approach to this blog will be to talk about things that are going on in my life, as well as my thoughts about love, romance, and relationships.  And yesterday was really something.

At 10:32 AM, according to my cell phone call log, I got a call from my first ex, Lori, the mother of my daughter Emily (names changed for privacy's sake) to tell me that our daughter was in the hospital.  To make a long story short, her doctor had sent her there for what he thought might possibly be appendicitis.  Well, I left work right away and headed straight for the hospital.  She appeared to be doing well and not in much pain.  Soon after, her boyfriend David showed up (he was at the same hospital that day to accompany his father to his first chemo treatment), and we spent a couple of hours there keeping Emily entertained.  After some blood work and a CAT scan, etc. we learned it was just a UTI.  The doc gave her a prescription, and that was it, she was free to go.  Her mom, Lori, lives in Kansas City, and by that time she was about to arrive in St. Louis.  Emily called and arranged to meet up with her, and then Emily and I parted ways with a couple of big hugs.  We'll probably go see "Dark Shadows" sometime this week. 

It was the middle of the afternoon by then, and it didn't make sense to go back to work, so I decided to take the rest of the day off.  With this extra free time that I now had, I decided to go to V-Stock to look at their comic books.  I'm not a comic book fan myself, but my brother is, and I had told him I would go by there sometime to see if they had anything he might want.  I spent a couple of hours there, talking to him on my cell phone for much of the time, as he told me which issues he needed, what rare titles to look for, and with his assistance I came up with about half a dozen or so that I'll mail to him in the next couple of days.  I'm going to include a couple of surprises for him, namely, a couple of documentaries about Bob Dylan and the Doors that I'm recording for him off the internet.

Up until about a year and a half ago, my brother and I had been estranged for many years, but one day I decided to make the move to start to patch things up.  At first he was rather bitter and reticent, but things have improved a lot since then, and we talk on the phone every week or two.  He'll talk my ear off about his comic book collection sometimes, but I actually find it interesting, so it's all good.

As you can see, yesterday was not exactly the kind of day that I could let pass by without sharing it someone special, but later I'll get back to talking about you and me. 

Take care, Becky.

~J

The Cute Little Banner Cartoon

Hi, Becky

In case you're wondering, it was I that drew the little cartoon of Crabby Boy (me) and Fishy Girl (you).  I know the symbol of Pisces is actually two fish, but I thought that having two females in the cartoon wouldn't exactly project the ideal of singular devotion that is intended.  I might come up with a way to do it that isn't too risqué.  We shall see . . .

~J

I Wear My Heart on My Blog

This is going to be what perhaps may be a totally unique blog (of course, if it isn't totally unique, it isn't unique, is it?)  Due to circumstances for the time being known only to the two parties concerned, namely myself and Becky, this is a blog written by one person (me) directed to just one other very special person, Becky.  If there is anyone else that stumbles upon this blog besides the person it is intended for, they are welcome to read it, understanding that they are reading my intimate thoughts and feelings about a person whom I believe is very special, and I am hoping that I will one day meet when the time is right.  The circumstances that will allow this meeting to take place, if it ever does (I remain ever hopeful) are ones that Becky has indicated to me are her preference, and I will respect and abide by her wishes.  This admiration that I have for her in this regard is one of the factors that has inspired me to write this blog. Over the next couple of days I'll be a little clearer about why this is so.

This blog will be, I suppose, a series of love letters, or love notes, or sometimes just "get acquainted sessions" sent in only one direction, for the time being.  Perhaps when the day comes that we meet and become acquainted, we will both begin posting to this blog, and the world will be given a very intimate view into the romantic communication between two people who, in my possibly deluded and self-deceived mind, have been meant for each other (possibly), and who may be for each other the person they have been waiting for their whole lives.  We shall see.  If nothing comes of this in the end, I suppose I will have one final post to let the world know how it all ended.  Sharing my broken heart with the world would be a cathartic experience, but I hope that it's one that I will not have to experience.

Well, that's enough of addressing the world.  You can all just be flies on the wall from here on.

Hi, Becky.  If you're reading this, I'm not sure how fresh in your mind are all the things that I said to you previously, and that you responded to with such graciousness and kindness.  I will probably re-post them here over the next couple of days, just so you don't have to go tracking them down.  More than anything I want to assure you that what I said to you were not mere empty words, but the last thing I want to do is just assure you with still more words.  By now you may know the actions I've taken, shall we say, to hold the other fish in the sea at bay.  Of course, there are other dating sites that I could be perusing--in fact, there is one other that I belong to, and I will probably do the same thing with that one that I did with the first--but I hope that this small gesture, along with the words that I will address to you here over the coming weeks and months, will show that my admiration and attraction to you has compelled me to rely on and express the better part of my nature, to be the best person that I am able to be, and to be the kind of man that you deserve.

I know that your intention is not to communicate with me just yet, and I'm not expecting you to.  You have your principles, and I admire that.  It's the right thing to do for you to not get in touch with me until the time is right.  I hope you don't mind that I'm fulfilling my own need to express my thoughts and feelings in this way.

I was a little concerned at first that I might run out of things to say at some point, but I'm forging ahead with this, perhaps running the risk of looking like a fool in your eyes.  Well, so be it.  Men have been making fools of themselves in the pursuit of women for all of human history, I hope you can forgive me for repeating all those mistakes that are so deeply rooted in the nature of the human male.  But I cannot imagine anything better than to be a man, when the object of my affection and desire can be a creature as lovely as you are, Becky.  I think women get the short end of the deal in that regard, having to put up with us foolish and crude men.  But that's the wonder of love, isn't it? that it can inspire clumsy louts like us to be tender, romantic, and affectionate, and to be better, more gentle persons, as well as inspiring us with the courage to protect and defend the women we love.  I hope that some day you and I will get to know each other and find that this is what we were meant to be and to do for each other.

OK, I guess that's enough for today.  I've really only touched on the surface, and I am looking forward to digging deeper into myself to let you know more about me, and to let you know the important place you have in my heart.  Yes, I realize that we don't know each other at all, and it would be foolish and premature for me to say that I love you.  But love is something that you and I both desire, and what little we know about each other indicates to me that maybe we have a lot in common.  I have much more to say but, like I said, that's enough for today.  I don't want to say everything in my first post, and then log in tomorrow with a case of writer's block.

Take care, sweet lovely Becky.

~J